Disclaimer: Somewhere on this blog are multiple grammatical mistakes, spelling errors and obscure Star Wars references.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Clackity Clack..

It's been a while since I updated here so here's my stuff..

December's been eventful lately, to say the least.. Both good and bad things. I normally enjoy my Decembers. They're a lot more relaxed than all the other months. Work slows down as all companies start packing up their yearly fiscals and stuff. Schools slow down as everyone buckles up to study for the end semester papers, so while we still attend University, it's not as hectic anymore.

In October, a then friend of mine made a post that was quite.. vague. Now, that post just seems ridiculously contradictory. It did then too, but now it just reeks of it. So, when earlier this month I discovered some secrets that put a lot of that into perspective, I was pleasantly shocked and the struggle was to keep it in me and not blurt it out. Methinks I actually did a half decent job about it. I didn't post it here or any place. Didn't mention it to anyone either, although I did mention it on my twitter.

Last night I finally did it. I didn't want to do it earlier because the other person was in a state of duress and I did not want to spit it out then. Last night I guess my patience cracked and I did it quite bluntly. Not too happy with the way I did it, but it's irrelevant eventually . I wanted to do it in a better way, admittedly I was quite brash about it.

I almost began writing another hate post last night but I'm glad I calmed down some and did not. That would not have been very mature or fit for the moment. Sure it might have blown off a little steam, but I'm still equally mad now only difference is I'm physically calm.

There are things in life that you take for granted. Amongst them is the untruth that people will stand by what they say.

Nay. They won't. They'll stand by it when it's convenient for them to do so. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.

The event from last August that led up to my reaction last night proved one thing. Some people are full of shit. They say things and take stands, NOT because it's what's ethical, but simply because it's what makes them look that way. It's all about image. It's all about how a third person, who doesn't know you, conceives you. A dear friend of mine described it perfectly. A Conforming Non-Conformist. Every alternate person that is trying not to blend in with the remainder. By actively trying to NOT to conform with one group, you're conforming to another, albeit smaller, group.

I swore to myself some time ago, that I would not let myself show any emotional outbursts on this blog, simply because I wanted to refine my experience as a blogger. I'm glad I did not break that promise last night, as I'd probably have woken up this morning, read it and felt disgust at myself. So that's good.

I do, however, want to explain my last post. I understand that it might seem vague or, dare I say it, emo. But I guess at its end there was a thought in my head that I wanted to post. Or express rather. I know you very well. You know that. And I've often wondered, that when your anger, rage, bitterness, everything, when it all subsides. When you're no longer bound to the prejudiced judgment that you're normally hardwired to. As in, when your thoughts have finally calmed and have truly become unbiased, and you become who you try to hide from the world. Now this moment may be miniscule in time and space. But it exists. At that point, it may be RIGHT after you get off the phone, or just before you close your eyes to fall asleep. Or maybe even when you open a book, switch on your pc, open a closet. Anything. No matter HOW small it may be. At that single flashpoint.

What DO you say?

Another thing that really shocked me is that how some people walk scot free for something so heinous. Simply because they're fathers know all the right people.

M


_

13 comments:

Antonella said...

:D howdy :D

MaliZOMG said...

Greetings!

*waves back*

Alt.Ctrl.Del said...

GAH MY EYES. White text, black background, no light in room (because le bitch is sleeping =_=)

TOO MUCH CONTRAST!

I lub j0o!

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