As promised, this will be my final post for this year, and also a review on how 2008 was for me.
Personally 2008 wasn't one of the better years for me. Similar to 2007, only with a varied timeline and a few differences in the actual happenings, but for the most bit it did not live up to what I had in mind for it. Unlike 2007 though, I remember starting 2008 at a major high. This time last year, I would say that I can't be fazed. One year down the line, I will say that I was wrong.
The first half of 2008 did live up to some of the expectations that I had for it. I was doing well academically, personally and professionally. So was she. I managed to land my first paid job, even though it was a mere 20 day stint, it was still something that I really enjoyed doing, and did it with all my heart. It's something that I'd love to do on a regular basis. During the first half of this year I moved from strength to strength and I had it all planned out. I was motivated, dedicated and ridiculously energetic.
Professionally, 2008 was my first real exposure to a working environment. It's not that I haven't ever worked before. All the time I spent at Make A Wish and ERAD & UNOPS was not wasted time. But this was the first time I was working to better my career. And even though it was a learning experience I can, Alhamdulillah, safely say that I only had good experiences. I hope and pray that 2009 continues my run.
In 2008 I've also actively returned to blogging. I've made it a point to post regularly, and I started a few things that keep this blog alive like TWS and BOM. I'm glad I'm keeping the promise that I made when I started blogging, and 2008 has been the more successful of the two years that this blog has been on the internet.
The last third of 2008 wasn't all that it was spruced up to be though. In fact, it all started at one instantaneous moment, and I guess it was something that I wasn't prepared for and wasn't something that I expected. I lost a loved one to circumstances that were.. are.. beyond my control. I guess if 2008 taught me anything it's that I have a fear of not being able to control the happenings of my life, and letting others affect it. If I could change it I would, but the fact that there's nothing I can do to affect it, sorta leaves you with this helpless feeling. It's like doing great at work, but not getting the credit that you deserve.
4 months since, I can safely say that my thought processes have changed beyond what I'd like them to be. I'm not as confident about myself as I was, and that to me is a major blow. I want to regain it, and over time I know I will InshAllah.
I met T this year after lessay 5 - 8 years. T, I want to thank you for being a great friend and.. I dunno. Thanks again. I may not be as much of a friend to you, as you are to me, but as a new years resolution I'll try and change that (sooner or later you'll stop missing Irfan :P ).
Sana left for University this year - I met her today - and I guess I realized that I really do miss her a lot. She's my best friend. No one functions with me the way she does. She's a rare person and I'm glad I met her. Well whaddya know, Anish did something right after all.
I want to appreciate the fact that Barry and I have also become best friends. If at all MAHE did anything right, it was putting the both of us in the same section, and I'm glad I met you buddy. Although, I have to apologize, I can't take you with me to Boston (Harvard). That travel companion position is reserved. (Guitar Hero tomorrow again?)
One of my closest friends, Hussein Ali, got married this month. I've been with him for a while now and I know that no one deserves it any more than he does, and I pray that he get's everything that he wants and that he lives up to everything that his parents want him to. Hussein I know you're never going to read this, but for the record, you're a great friend. Even though we've not met/spoken as much in the last 2 months, you're a great guy, and I'm glad I invited you for my 18th birthday.
As for you. I really don't know what to say. I guess at the end of it all, I've said everything that I've wanted to, and so have you. It was one hell of a ride. 2 and a half of the best years of my life, however short they both may be. I guess at the end of it all, I know that Allah will guide us to what is best for us and our futures. Both mine and yours. Whether they're separated now, or maybe at some point in the future, joined again. Unfortunately, he can only guide us, but the decision is still made by us. For now, I'm going to stick with mine. I am moving on. But I'm never giving up. Because that's what I would have done last year. And that's what I'll do now.
Do me a favour though. What was the name of that song? The one you made me listen to that night? I think it was by She Wants Revenge, but I'm not sure. Either way, be safe.
This time last year, I expected the following year to be just great. In some ways it was. I got much closer to some people, some GOOD people. A Muslim is defined by the company he keeps. And I think I keep good company. In some ways 2008 blew.
At the end of it, I've learned that we as people have very limited control over our lives, even though we claim to be in total control. We're not. Our lives are deeply affected by the actions of others, both in positives and in negatives. The difference is you only tend to notice the negatives because they make your life that much harder. I'm not bitter about it, it's just something that I've noticed. People tend to remember only the bad, and forget the good.
InshAllah, InshAllah, InshAllah, 2009 will bring a change for me, my life and those in it.
This is a story from the Prophet's (SAW) time. It's not the exact words or translation, but it's the same meaning. A man came up to the Prophet (SAW) once and asked him, "I have a camel. Every night when I travel, should I leave it up to Allah to protect it, or should I tie it up and then pray to Allah?" The Prophet (SAW) responded, "Tie the camel down and then pray to Allah." What it means is that you can't leave everything up to Allah and hope for him to fix things. There are things that you have to do yourself, and only once you've done them can you ask Allah to help you.
InshAllah, he will. InshAllah 2009 will be everything that I want it to be.
This is your writer, signing off after a long, eventful and tumultuous 2008. See you guys again in 2009.
This is something I've done in the past, and I can say without doubt that it's because I am naive and immature. But being another young adult with only a laptop and internet connection at his disposal, I know that this is my little bit in trying to help. I'd love to do more, and maybe one day I can and will be able to do more. Till then, I'm not going to stop writing.
Today, Israeli warplanes launched multiple aerial attacks across Palestinian lands and killed at least 155 people, wounding another 310.
I know that a LOT of people have Yahoo! as their homepage, but I wonder why I don't see that much of a reaction? I mean, apparently we're still human beings right? When India was attacked and a similar number of people were killed at the Taj and the Trident, remember the buzz? The Media attention? The public outcry? The political pressure on Pakistan to control their people?
I'm not saying that, what happened in India was a small deal, not at ALL. What I'm trying to say is that why is it that people who were SO shocked about the death and murder in India, why those SAME people don't have the same reactions to the terrorist actions of the Israeli army in Palestine? Whether it was a 20 year old waving an AK-47 or it was an Israeli pilot in an F-16, murder is MURDER.
When a few Israelis were killed at the Narmin house in India and a baby ( "Baby Moshe" ) was orphaned, HOW many TV hours were dedicated to them? HOW many news channels aired their plight repeatedly? Again, I'm not saying that an Israeli's life is worthless (although I'm sure a lot of people would), but WHY not the same outcry when SO many MORE people are slaughtered in Palestine?
Where are the NDTV specials? Where is CNN's live covering? Where are the BBC? I'm not even gonna mention FOX news.
It is DISGUSTING to mention that the populace of this world has come to ignore the deaths of certain communities only because, it is now so common to hear of their deaths. Palestinians, Iraqis, Afghanis and even the Chechnyans earlier on.
It is DISGUSTING that the superpowers sit back and allow Israel to do as they see fit, but will threaten Pakistan with military action when India was attacked.
It is DISGUSTING that your average bloke can power up his TV or laptop and read the deaths of a hundred Palestinians and go, "Oh well," and then go on checking the football scores.
It is DISGUSTING that we sit here in our comfortable lives and care about the deaths that happened in India, or the 9/11 attacks or the London Tube attacks only because we know people there and because it "affects" us in a manner of speaking. But when we hear about the other deaths that don't affect us, we can read, comprehend and then continue to ignore.
It is DISGUSTING how people can care when supposedly superior races of humans are killed but then turn away when a supposedly inferior race is slaughtered in broad daylight.
It is DISGUSTING how some countries will defend the perpetrators of mass genocide.
How can an American or an Israeli now sit back and wonder why they really are hated so much. I don't hate every American or Israeli, because I don't want to stereotype. And because I know there are good people on all sides of a war. I know there are bad people in Palestine, Iraq and Afghanistan too.
But believe you me, it's not easy convincing yourself to remain focused, and not to hate.
Around mid-October, I heard this rumour and remember laughing it off as unlikely. I mean who would go through such lengths so as to block video hosting, P2P networks and torrents. At that point it seemed unlikely and, to be entirely frank, extremely risque. Can you imagine internet censorship to THAT degree?
Last week, there was a story spreading round (I mentioned even) that a ship had dropped anchor on a deep sea cable, severing lines and subsequently disrupting internet activity in the UAE. Now we all read and acknowledged said event, and understood why a lot of our internet based softwares and websites were acting up. I mentioned that even blogger was slow. By yesterday, all my internet speeds were back up to par.
With one small difference. YouTube, the web's premier video hosting website, is no longer accessible. NO, it's not 'blocked' but you can no longer connect to their server. So all you end up seeing is a page that reads, "The connection to the server was reset while attempting to contact it." For a while I figured it was just the internet acting up. 5 days and regular internet later I wonder.. Could it be?
Limewire, one of the world's popular P2P networks, refuses to connect. Neither do any of my torrent files. Weird I thought. Internet was fine, so then why do these things refuse to connect. Allowing Etisalat the benefit of the doubt I rang them up to ask them if the internet issues were solved. A nice Pinoy lady responded in the affirmative. Internet was (supposedly) back to normal.
Total brain racking time! What is going on? YouTube, Limewire and torrents STILL not working. Somewhere inside me the conspiracy theorist woke up. I fired up a VPN to check something out.
Guess what I found....
YouTube, Limewire and torrents working JUST fine when the VPN was fired up, but not even connecting when I'm running my regular lines.
From this I will leave you to draw your own conclusions. If anyone has the same problems, or, is not having the same problems, do let me know.
In 9 days we'll be done with this year and onto the next. I'll recap on this year closer to the end.
University is lame. The classes are lame, the students are lame and the timings are lame. But it's nice to have friends there at the very least. This semester wasn't all that, academically. The three week break that I took to India turned out to be one of the lesser smart things that I've done. I missed 3 tests, 4 assignments and another 3 quizzes. You KNOW that's not going to turn out good. This time I do have a legitimate excuse, but it's still just that, an excuse.
The interwebz is still messed up here in the UAE. A cable in the ocean was cut when an anchor dropped down on it and so we have some Frenchies with robot submarines trying to fix 'em. I called up Etisalat and they were nice enough to inform me that they had absolutely no idea when it would be fixed. I asked for a ballpark estimate. "I zhon't know," replied the Egyptian call center guy. "Maybe vun day maybe two days maybe niikist eeyar.."
.......nice..
Oh well, it's really hard to even BLOG, as everything takes a decent amount of time to load up, and considering I've got Zemanta installed, it takes that much longer. 52KBps wasn't this bad, was it?
tole this off T who, well, stole this off another blogger. Hmm. I really should stop ripping him off...
Or not.
100 things that everyone should do.
Those in bold = done Those in italics = really really wanna do
1. Started my own blog 2. Slept under the stars 3. Played in a band 4. Visited Hawaii 5. Watched a meteor shower 6. Given more than I can afford to charity 7. Been to Disneyland/world 8. Climbed a mountain 9. Held a preying mantis 10. Sung a solo 11. Bungee jumped 12. Visited Paris 13. Watched lightning at sea 14. Taught myself an art from scratch 15. Adopted a child[LNZA =) ] 16. Had food poisoning(could you imagine it if THIS was in italics..) 17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty 18. Grown my own vegetables 19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France 20. Slept on an overnight train 21. Had a pillow fight 22. Hitchhiked 23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 24. Built a snow fort 25. Held a lamb 26. Gone skinny dipping 27. Run a Marathon 28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice 29. Seen a total eclipse 30. Watched a sunrise or sunset 31. Hit a home run 32. Been on a cruise 33. Seen Niagara Falls in person 34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors 35. Seen an Amish community 36. Taught myself a new language 37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person 39. Gone rock climbing 40. Seen Michelangelo’s David 41. Sung karaoke 42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt 43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant 44. Visited Africa 45. Walked on a beach by moonlight 46. Been transported in an ambulance(yes. it's true. I DO want it) 47. Had my portrait painted 48. Gone deep sea fishing 49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person 50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris 51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling 52. Kissed in the rain 53. Played in the mud 54. Gone to a drive-in theater 55. Been in a movie 56. Visited the Great Wall of China 57. Started a business 58. Taken a martial arts class 59. Visited Russia 60. Served at a soup kitchen 61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies 62. Gone whale watching 63. Got flowers for no reason 64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma 65. Gone sky diving 66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp 67. Bounced a check 68. Flown in a helicopter 69. Saved a favorite childhood toy 70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial 71. Eaten caviar 72. Pieced a quilt 73. Stood in Times Square 74. Toured the Everglades 75. Been fired from a job 76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London 77. Broken a bone 78. Been on a speeding motorcycle 79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person 80. Published a book 81. Visited the Vatican 82. Bought a brand new car 83. Walked in Jerusalem 84. Had my picture in the newspaper 85. Read the entire Bible 86. Visited the White House 87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating(How about ONLY killed?) 88. Had chickenpox 89. Saved someone’s life 90. Sat on a jury 91. Met someone famous 92. Joined a book club 93. Lost a loved one 94. Had a baby 95. Seen the Alamo in person 96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake 97. Been involved in a law suit 98. Owned a cell phone 99. Been stung by a bee 100. Ridden an elephant
So that was my version of the same. Hope you liked it!
Come this day I'm finally legal to do all those things that I will never do. It's an odd achievement really. It's like going through 8 years of medical school and then not become a doctor. I got a lot of messages, wall posts on Facebook all saying, "OMG ur lyk legal n shit so u cn lyk do all dat abuv 21 sht. daym man dat's so kewl.."
After I spent some time deciphering what that meant, it was funny to see that turning 21 for me was no different than turning 19, 20 or when I turn 22. I mean yeah, 18 was a big deal, driver's license and stuff but beyond that I couldn't really care.
This birthday is an odd(er) one because it's the first time I'm celebrating it 'by myself.' I haven't celebrated it that way since I turned 18 and had a party where she showed up. It's odd.
My most memorable birthday ever was my [edit] 20th, [edit] when they (read: she) threw me a surprise party with this big ass custom made card, (which I realize now that I did not blog about it then) and cake and friends and stuff. This birthday was quieter but I must appreciate BARRY (moron :P) for buying me something that I've wanted for some time now. Him, Mareena, Alistan and Ritesh pitched in for it (And I think there are more, just not sure who). They bought me a paintball marker. Specifically a PCS US-5 Field Marker (Equipment -> Ordinance -> US-5 Field Marker). It's olive green (one of my favourite colours) and I love it.
In other news, Sana should be back in town on the 22nd, and for some reason my parents keep asking me about it. While I think it's cool, I think it's also kind of unnerving when your parents seem more excited than you do to meet your best friend.
I'd like to throw out an apology to all my readers for not updating in the last week or so. I blame Twitter. I mean that thing is ADDICTIVE and so much more easier to update than a webpage. But still, now that I'm over the initial twittering shock, I will hopefully spend more time on my blog and resume posting at a more regular pace.
Also, this weeks TWS will be slighly delayed due to crappy internet over here in the UAE. It's been off its mark all day and for some reason Youtube isn't working so I'm kinda stuck as I had a nice little video that I was gonna post. So watch out for it, it should be out within the next 2 days.
The other day I fired up blogger and everything and I had a great something to talk about. I logged in and went straight to the create a post page and was sitting there and got distracted for the slightest of seconds. Moment I turned back to the screen, I had this mental gap in my memory and had completely forgotten what it was that I was going to blog about. Darn it. That's the second time that's happened in one week. Age. It's getting to me.
With that, I'll leave you guys until I remember something to blog about. Cheerio!
It's been a while since I updated here so here's my stuff..
December's been eventful lately, to say the least.. Both good and bad things. I normally enjoy my Decembers. They're a lot more relaxed than all the other months. Work slows down as all companies start packing up their yearly fiscals and stuff. Schools slow down as everyone buckles up to study for the end semester papers, so while we still attend University, it's not as hectic anymore.
In October, a then friend of mine made a post that was quite.. vague. Now, that post just seems ridiculously contradictory. It did then too, but now it just reeks of it. So, when earlier this month I discovered some secrets that put a lot of that into perspective, I was pleasantly shocked and the struggle was to keep it in me and not blurt it out. Methinks I actually did a half decent job about it. I didn't post it here or any place. Didn't mention it to anyone either, although I did mention it on my twitter.
Last night I finally did it. I didn't want to do it earlier because the other person was in a state of duress and I did not want to spit it out then. Last night I guess my patience cracked and I did it quite bluntly. Not too happy with the way I did it, but it's irrelevant eventually . I wanted to do it in a better way, admittedly I was quite brash about it.
I almost began writing another hate post last night but I'm glad I calmed down some and did not. That would not have been very mature or fit for the moment. Sure it might have blown off a little steam, but I'm still equally mad now only difference is I'm physically calm.
There are things in life that you take for granted. Amongst them is the untruth that people will stand by what they say.
Nay. They won't. They'll stand by it when it's convenient for them to do so. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.
The event from last August that led up to my reaction last night proved one thing. Some people are full of shit. They say things and take stands, NOT because it's what's ethical, but simply because it's what makes them look that way. It's all about image. It's all about how a third person, who doesn't know you, conceives you. A dear friend of mine described it perfectly. A Conforming Non-Conformist. Every alternate person that is trying not to blend in with the remainder. By actively trying to NOT to conform with one group, you're conforming to another, albeit smaller, group.
I swore to myself some time ago, that I would not let myself show any emotional outbursts on this blog, simply because I wanted to refine my experience as a blogger. I'm glad I did not break that promise last night, as I'd probably have woken up this morning, read it and felt disgust at myself. So that's good.
I do, however, want to explain my last post. I understand that it might seem vague or, dare I say it, emo. But I guess at its end there was a thought in my head that I wanted to post. Or express rather. I know you very well. You know that. And I've often wondered, that when your anger, rage, bitterness, everything, when it all subsides. When you're no longer bound to the prejudiced judgment that you're normally hardwired to. As in, when your thoughts have finally calmed and have truly become unbiased, and you become who you try to hide from the world. Now this moment may be miniscule in time and space. But it exists. At that point, it may be RIGHT after you get off the phone, or just before you close your eyes to fall asleep. Or maybe even when you open a book, switch on your pc, open a closet. Anything. No matter HOW small it may be. At that single flashpoint.
What DO you say?
Another thing that really shocked me is that how some people walk scot free for something so heinous. Simply because they're fathers know all the right people.
Without a doubt, my most favourite month of the year.
Not only is it that my birthday falls in this month, but it's also arguably some of the best weather that you can get here in the UAE. Sure rain and mud isn't all that attractive but it's much more pleasant than 45 degrees Celsius of heat and 50% humidity.. Either way, some way or the other I always enjoy this month more than any other in the year.
Anyway, as I fired up firefox I had some things that I wanted to blog about but for some reason, now that I'm actually here I can't remember..
......darn it..
Hmm so much for that..
Ok so I guess I'll just leave you all with the thought that I really love December. Birthday, weather, other people's birthdays etc etc., more lovely weather, lovely ambiance everything..
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