Personally 2008 wasn't one of the better years for me. Similar to 2007, only with a varied timeline and a few differences in the actual happenings, but for the most bit it did not live up to what I had in mind for it. Unlike 2007 though, I remember starting 2008 at a major high. This time last year, I would say that I can't be fazed. One year down the line, I will say that I was wrong.
The first half of 2008 did live up to some of the expectations that I had for it. I was doing well academically, personally and professionally. So was she. I managed to land my first paid job, even though it was a mere 20 day stint, it was still something that I really enjoyed doing, and did it with all my heart. It's something that I'd love to do on a regular basis. During the first half of this year I moved from strength to strength and I had it all planned out. I was motivated, dedicated and ridiculously energetic.
Professionally, 2008 was my first real exposure to a working environment. It's not that I haven't ever worked before. All the time I spent at Make A Wish and ERAD & UNOPS was not wasted time. But this was the first time I was working to better my career. And even though it was a learning experience I can, Alhamdulillah, safely say that I only had good experiences. I hope and pray that 2009 continues my run.
In 2008 I've also actively returned to blogging. I've made it a point to post regularly, and I started a few things that keep this blog alive like TWS and BOM. I'm glad I'm keeping the promise that I made when I started blogging, and 2008 has been the more successful of the two years that this blog has been on the internet.
The last third of 2008 wasn't all that it was spruced up to be though. In fact, it all started at one instantaneous moment, and I guess it was something that I wasn't prepared for and wasn't something that I expected. I lost a loved one to circumstances that were.. are.. beyond my control. I guess if 2008 taught me anything it's that I have a fear of not being able to control the happenings of my life, and letting others affect it. If I could change it I would, but the fact that there's nothing
4 months since, I can safely say that my thought processes have changed beyond what I'd like them to be. I'm not as confident about myself as I was, and that to me is a major blow. I want to regain it, and over time I know I will InshAllah.
I met T this year after lessay 5 - 8 years. T, I want to thank you for being a great friend and.. I dunno. Thanks again. I may not be as much of a friend to you, as you are to me, but as a new years resolution I'll try and change that (sooner or later you'll stop missing Irfan :P ).
Sana left for University this year - I met her today - and I guess I realized that I really do miss her a lot. She's my best friend. No one functions with me the way she does. She's a rare person and I'm glad I met her. Well whaddya know, Anish did something right after all.
I want to appreciate the fact that Barry and I have also become best friends. If at all MAHE did anything right, it was putting the both of us in the same section, and I'm glad I met you buddy. Although, I have to apologize, I can't take you with me to Boston (Harvard). That travel companion position is reserved. (Guitar Hero tomorrow again?)
One of my closest friends, Hussein Ali, got married this month. I've been with him for a while now and I know that no one deserves it any more than he does, and I pray that he get's everything that he wants and that he lives up to everything that his parents want him to. Hussein I know you're never going to read this, but for the record, you're a great friend. Even though we've not met/spoken as much in the last 2 months, you're a great guy, and I'm glad I invited you for my 18th birthday.
As for you. I really don't know what to say. I guess at the end of it all, I've said everything that I've wanted to, and so have you. It was one hell of a ride. 2 and a half of the best years of my life, however short they both may be. I guess at the end of it all, I know that Allah will guide us to what is best for us and our futures. Both mine and yours. Whether they're separated now, or maybe at some point in the future, joined again. Unfortunately, he can only guide us, but the decision is still made by us. For now, I'm going to stick with mine. I am moving on. But I'm never giving up. Because that's what I would have done last year. And that's what I'll do now.
Do me a favour though. What was the name of that song? The one you made me listen to that night? I think it was by She Wants Revenge, but I'm not sure. Either way, be safe.
This time last year, I expected the following year to be just great. In some ways it was. I got much closer to some people, some GOOD people. A Muslim is defined by the company he keeps. And I think I keep good company. In some ways 2008 blew.
At the end of it, I've learned that we as people have very limited control over our lives, even though we claim to be in total control. We're not. Our lives are deeply affected by the actions of others, both in positives and in negatives. The difference is you only tend to notice the negatives because they make your life that much harder. I'm not bitter about it, it's just something that I've noticed. People tend to remember only the bad, and forget the good.
InshAllah, InshAllah, InshAllah, 2009 will bring a change for me, my life and those in it.
This is a story from the Prophet's (SAW) time. It's not the exact words or translation, but it's the same meaning. A man came up to the Prophet (SAW) once and asked him, "I have a camel. Every night when I travel, should I leave it up to Allah to protect it, or should I tie it up and then pray to Allah?" The Prophet (SAW) responded, "Tie the camel down and then pray to Allah." What it means is that you can't leave everything up to Allah and hope for him to fix things. There are things that you have to do yourself, and only once you've done them can you ask Allah to help you.
InshAllah, he will. InshAllah 2009 will be everything that I want it to be.
This is your writer, signing off after a long, eventful and tumultuous 2008. See you guys again in 2009.
Muhammed Ali Jamadar
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